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"This is autism" - not quite

6/27/2013

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"This Is Autism" - not quite
days to disney

As a rule, I do not watch very much T.V.  - OK it's true, you will catch me watching Dance Moms now and then.  However I did hear about a documentary called, This Is Autism, that was going to air on Discovery Fit & Health Channel and obviously it caught my interest.  So I sat down and watched. 

Please note - the following is my opinion only.

It was the most depressing view on Autism that I have seen.
  Had I had viewed this in the days or weeks after Hope was diagnosed, I think I might still be in bed crying.
The documentary by Louis Theroux followed the lives of three families with Autistic children.  It showed what I believe to be very severe cases of Autism.  Yet, it gave the impression that this is Autism in general.  That is what bothered me the most. 

It never discussed at what age each of the children were diagnosed, what kind of early intervention they received early in life and the extent of their therapy now in relation to their home life.  . 

One boy, who was older was prone to violent outbursts.  When they occurred, he had to be physically restrained by mom or dad, or the school staff.  It showed mom actually lying on top of him until he settled down. She wanted it to be filmed so "the world" could see what the moms of Autistic children go through - again very generalized. 

My heart went out to her.  But at the same time, I wondered, what self regulation strategies  were implemented when this boy was 2 or 3?  In other words, did his early therapists work with him and his family to teach him how to calm down by himself and re-group?  This is something we are focused on with Hope right now.   

I think most of the children in the film attended a
private school for Autism in the state of New Jersey.  They seemed to all be making progress at school, but at home, they seemed not connected with anything.  The parents didn't seem to know how they should fit in. 

Yet again, I see the beauty of homeschooling. I can't imagine putting Hope on a bus in the morning, her spending all day in an artificial atmosphere and then getting off the bus and me expecting her to function in her life at home. How is that possible?  

Most of the parents who were interviewed sounded and appeared "beaten" down.  In one instance, Theroux asked one mother, "Does Autism define you and your family"?  Without hesitation, her answer was emphatically "Yes".     I thought that was really sad.
    
Towards the end of the show, one of the mom's admitted her fear that her son would end up in a residential home.  She said that inevitably, this was to be the outcome for all of "these" children.   
When Hope was diagnosed, I too heard those words from the doctors - "severe" & "profound".  But the fact that all of her therapies - all of the hard work we do, takes place where it matters most, in the environment in which she needs to function everyday, I believe, makes all the difference.

Perhaps Mr. Theroux will do another documentary on Autistic children who are homeschooled.  How curious would that be?  I would have to find some time to sit down and watch that too.
I appreciate the families who made this documentary possible.  I feel their pain because I walk the same journey.  However, I hope that other parents who view this film do not think that this is nessesarily the outcome for their children.  It does not have to be.   I would tell them to read the works of Temple Granden.

For the record, I do not feel that Autism defines me or my husband, or my daughter Julia or even Hope for that matter.  Rather, I believe that it is our family and how we function with the challenges of Autism in our lives that enables us to define a single snapshot of Autism.
 
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Museum Of The Hudson Highlands

6/25/2013

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Most of the field trips we attended this year have focused on Julia.  So when a friend of ours booked a field trip to the Museum of the Hudson Highlands for the wee ones, it was something I was really looking forward to.  The theme was pond life.  

Up until this year, I actually avoided field trips for Hope.  It was just too difficult.   But she has grown so much in the past year, I really wanted to make our debut.

Usually, when we go on a field trip, I rely on the stroller.  However, when we got to the museum, I soon realized that the path we were going on was not very "stroller friendly".  So I decided that we would give it a go without it.  

At first, Hope did fantastic!       
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When we arrived at the pond study area, Hope did not want anything to do with it.
We walked around a little bit and of course - that's when things went array.  Hope wanted to walk further towards an observation deck.  But it was too far away from our group so I told her "no".  And that brought on a meltdown.
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I was blessed that we had a homeschool dad with us who was ready to lead a hand - in this case two arms and some muscles.   He kindly carried my little Hope back for me. 
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After some lunch and a lot of water, we were all able to regroup and had to the playgroup - Grasshopper Grove. A very beautiful and unique type of playgroup.  Needless to say, the kids had a blast! 
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I was hoping the day would have gone better.  But I have to remember the successes of the day.  A year ago I would not have even went on the field trip.  And even if I did, I would not have even contemplated letting Hope out of her stroller.   I know I have to bring Hope back soon.  I think it's so important for her to have another go at it. 
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Did You Ask Me Why I Homeschool?

6/17/2013

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93 Days To Disney

We went to dinner last night with our family and I was asked a question that I'm asked very often:
 
Why do you homeschool Hope?   Don't you think she would be better off at school?

I thought for a moment. This is a question I get asked very often - even in regards to Julia who is not autistic.

My response varies depending on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I will give a statistic; sometimes I will say  "because I want to",  and sometimes I will give a philosophical speech on the failing status of public education today.

But last night I gave a different answer: butterflies.

Let me explain.

Every year for 4H, Julia raises butterflies and observes the butterfly life cycle.  We get them as larvae from Cornell in tiny little cups only about an inch high & wide. There is some food at the bottom that looks like brown sugar and the cups all have lids on tight to protect them.
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Within about a week that little caterpillar gets bigger and sure enough starts to weave a web which it rolls itself into to begin its metamorphosis.  Soon there is no more caterpillar, but a cocoon hanging from the tiniest but very strong thread.  And sure enough, soon after, out pops a butterfly.

The first year we did this project, we put the small containers on a shelf in my pantry where there was no direct sunlight.  But I forgot about them.

I can't say I completely forgot.  I just let our busy lives get in the way and I became careless.  I didn't check on them every day.  I didn't look for little changes.  I just figured they were safe in their cups and doing what they were supposed to do.

Until the day when I finally had the time and looked in on them and indeed, they had hatched.
 
Inside the cups were no loner tiny little caterpillars but big butterflies.  Sadly, the lids of the cups were still on and the butterflies' wings were crushed.

I brought them outside and took off the lids and tried to release them.  I figured they would know what to do and be fine.  But they were not.  They weren't dead  - but they may as well have been because they really couldn't fly.  It didn't even seem as they knew what to do with their
wings; they had been in their sealed cups for too long.  While I saw some attempts of fluttering,  they just lay on my patio table.  

I felt horrible.  I didn't know what to do for them.  So I just walked away.  

Later when I came back they were gone.  Whether they managed to fly or perhaps the wind just blew them away - I do not know, but I don't think they had much of a chance to survive.

This year, four years later,  I'll admit I've gotten better at the whole butterfly life cycle business.  Plus Julia is a lot older - so actually she plays an important role in taking care of everything.

We purchased a butterfly garden this year - one of those netting houses that has a lot of room for the butterflies.  It still provides the security that they need, but the netting allows for more freedom.  We placed our caterpillar cups inside and when the butterflies were in their cocoons, we took the lids off and taped them  with the hanging chrysalis to the top.   

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Every day, we watched.  At times the changes were so painfully slow that we wondered if anything was happening at all.

Sure enough, one by one, butterflies emerged leaving only an empty shell behind as a sign of their metamorphosis.
 
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At first their wings were very dull but within a few days, they were bursting with color.  We made them food from sugar and water and placed it inside their house along with some fresh cut flowers and for about a week we watched our butterflies grow and flutter about.

Then we realized it was time to release them.  As sad as we were, we knew we had done our part and now it was time for the butterflies to be on their own.
 
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So we took them outside to the backyard, unzipped the butterfly garden and out they flew with confidence, one by one, all with strong wings. They seemed to know where to go; as if they had a plan all along.  So bright and beautiful, away they went to continue the circle of life.  A reminder of God's miracles that He bestows upon us every day - even when we can't see that they are right in front of our eyes.
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Sending Hope to school would be just like stuffing her into that tiny sealed cup.  No opportunities to grow or develop -  and ultimately crushing her wings leaving her unable to fly.
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My children are my butterflies.
 
                                 And that is why I homeschool.
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Happy Father's Day!

6/16/2013

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Happy Father's Day!

94 Days To Disney

There are many days when I feel like a am a single mom.  I wake up in bed with only my dog lying next to me.  At dinner time, there is usually an empty chair.    And except for a few quick exchanges of words, brief hugs and kisses, my husband is usually not around.  He is always working.

It is not a choice that we both enjoy, yet  it is one that we made together.  Like so many other families that homeschool, dad is the one who is usually off to work in order to keep the household running financially.  It is a constant struggle to make ends meet.  When there is a chance to get overtime, he takes it.  But that doesn't stop my husband from being the greatest dad I know.

He always makes time for his girls.  Even if it is just a few minutes  a day, he always takes the time to talk and play with them. He does his best to keep up with their activities and busy schedules.  Even though he is rarely at a field trip, picnic or competition, he always gets a "video review" and stays up to date with our daily events. 

I am truly blessed to have him as my husband, best friend, and soul mate.  I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else. 

Happy Father's Day to the love of my life and to all other homeschool dads who make a similar sacrifice for their families.








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Learning outside the box

6/15/2013

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Some days I am reminded why I have to have a sense a humor.

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Rethinking Workboxes

6/8/2013

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102 Days To Disney

The Workbox System was really popular a couple of years ago.  Designed by Sue Patrick,  they seemed like a homeschooler’s dream. I know many homeschoolers that dedicated their blogs to how they implemented the system.  I gave them a try, however; I couldn’t make it work.  It was too time consuming for me.  

However, now I seem to be revisiting the idea - but I think I will tweak it a bit, which is really not recommended.  I realize that Hope works well with routine and structure and I think that a workbox system will be a good fit for her.  I am also considering a version for Julia as I really need to get her to be more independent when it comes time for schoolwork.   



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ISI Competition In New York City - I love lucy

6/1/2013

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Julia Skates To "I Love Lucy"

Today we headed to the city for Julia to skate at an ISI competition.  She skated 2 programs.  Her character spotlight was a tribute to Lucille Ball. 



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    About me

    I am a homeschooling mom who lives in New York State and homeschools my 2 daughters.  My oldest is 19 and Dyslexic and my youngest, who is 12,  was diagnosed with profound Autism. 

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